The Green Room

Character Descriptions should maybe, I dunno, describe the character?

2006-09-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

That’s not asking a lot, right? I just want to know some basic info of what the director or writer has in mind. Stuff I can’t infer from the sides. Let me explain.

So I had an early morning audition today for, well, I’ll give you the description that was given to me.

[AGENT TAYLOR] Male, late 30's, Irish looking and too white for his job as a Border Patrol Agent. Obssesed with following the rules, every decision is driven by how well it would look in his resume.

The sides are a whopping page and a half, with most of my lines being “yes, sir” and “no, sir” to the police chief investigating a murder victim in the middle of a desert. Though I did get to make fun of a guy killed by a coyote by likening his corpse to “chili beef jerky,” so that was fun. Anyway, I do my homework, establish my relationship, need, obstacles, tactics, all that fun stuff. I see myself as a guy who does this all the time, but wants a change, and uses his charm and efficiency to try to win over the police chief so I can get off the border patrol. Some of that came from the description, some from the sides, and some I just made up because there wasn’t any additional info and I needed some sort of history background. The usual.

So I walk in cool, comfortable. Busted out a loose shirt-tie outfit with rolled up sleeves and flat hair parted on the right. Seemed like the right call for me; I was feelin it. The director greets me and says he just wants to give me some more info about the character and scene. Here’s what he says:

- I’m afraid of the police chief.

- It’s unusual that the police chief is here investigating the murder.

- The police chief is going to ask me to do something sketchy that I don’t want to do.

And so I’m reminded of the Wedding Singer: "Things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!"

Honestly, I maybe could have picked up on the fact that the police chief was gonna ask me to do something I didn’t want to [with being a stickler for the rules, and all that], but even that would have been a lucky guess. So, needless to say that I was a little frustrated having developed a character that didn’t fit the situation. But you know, I adapted. That’s what I’m supposed to do. He had me read it 3 times. First time I read it, I just took the character I created and made him nervous. He had me read it again, but more afraid of the police chief. So this time I was more skeptical nervous. After the 2^ndtime he said he really liked the latter half, but wanted more formalities in the 1^st half, and that I shouldn’t offer to shake the chief’s hand. And then, I finally understood what he wanted, eradicated the last bits of the character that I had been prepared to play, and gave a good reading. So that was nice. Took me 3 tries, but I eventually got it. What’s ultimately frustrating is that if I had that info prior, there would not have been that whole adjustment process, and I wouldn’t have felt so foolish not understanding exactly what he wanted. At the same time, maybe it was just a way to see if I can take direction, which I guess I demonstrated. Who knows?

Overall, it was fun. Different sort of character than I’m used to, and a different look, so very cool. And it was a union audition, so that could be fun. Eh, we’ll see. All part of the experience.

It's only a little late...

2006-09-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it’s been a hella long time since I’ve updated this thing. And seriously, so much has happened. But I’ve been pushing off posting recently, because I didn’t have time to write the big “fill in the 3 month gap” entry. Today, however, I decided that was dumb to wait for that big entry before telling you about my stuff now. So I’m gonna be posting more frequently now, and maybe someday I’ll go back and fill in the gaps. There is, however, some pertinent info that I’m bulleting below.

Represented by BAA Management Company.

Signed up with GetMoreAuditions.com.

Gone on an average of 3 auditions a week.

Received callbacks for some, but no casting.

Working as a Starbucks Barista.

Temping as an administrative assistant.

Performed in final Second City sketch comedy showcase.

Graduated from Second City Conservatory.

Taking classes at Margie Haber Studios.

I’m racking my brain, but I think that’s it. Cool beans. Obviously, there's lots of behind the scenes info to go along with all that, but you know, I'm a busy Booter. So whatever. Yeah, that's right. Whatever. Ok, I'm tired. Later skaters.

Special Mothers' Day Edition

2006-05-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

So I really suck at posting on this thing. I guess that's the price you pay for leading the double life. But, I recently took some time to update my folks and grandparents on my goings-on, spurred largely by the lovely holiday of Mothers' Day, and so I figured I would honor those two very important women by posting the e-mail I wrote them online. [Do you like how I totally made you think I'm not lazy and just cutting and pasting an e-mail. See, it's got meaning. I'm deep like that.] Anyway, I have a show next week, FYI. May 21 at 5 PM. New material we're working on that looks to be pretty funny. Ok, on with the updates. Later skaters.

"Things have been crazy busy with me recently [when are they not], but I wanted to take a chance to say hi and let you know what is going on with me. Second City has been going well; we just finished level 4 and will be starting the 5th and final level in a few weeks. I have been learning an enormous amount, and I can sense the various acting skills I'm developing become more and more instinctual. We've had a variety of shows, both really good and really bad, and each has been an amazing learning experience. I have a ton of support out here and it's been a joy to be able to perform so often. When level 5 starts we will be having 1 show every Sunday in preparation for a 1 hour show that will play on 4 Friday nights this summer. Really really exciting.

While working to develop my craft as a stage performer, I am also focusing on my on-camera skills. I recently took an amazing on-camera workshop class and learned so so so much, and actually became quite good. The film medium is a much more psychological one, with less frenzy and overall energy than stage acting, but difficult in its own right. I also really enjoy it. I can break down a scene pretty well know and be decently prepared for an audition, which is exciting. I will be moving on to the next level in June which I am very excited about. I hear that I'm receiving some help from you for this class, which I greatly greatly appreciate it. This class could be my most important yet, as I have a good foundation from which to work and can really focus and develop some major strengths. Plus, as I take this June class I will also be auditioning, so it's like I get a chance to try things out in class and keep my skills fresh. So, thank you thank you thank you.

Speaking of auditions, I recently was signed to a acting management/agency. This is really exciting as it is really hard to do and is really the only way to get started in this business. What this means is that my manager will be submitting my headshot and resume to various casting directors for various parts that they have access to, and if they like me then I get the chance to audition. It's really very exciting. I've been talking about auditioning this summer for a long time, and as of yesterday, it seems that this will actually happen. So woo hoo!

Well, that's a SportsCenter version of what is up with me. And that's just the acting part! School is good, friends are good, and overall I m very happy right now. I will contact you this weekend for some Mothers' Day love, but I am glad I was able to send you a quick note to keep you posted. I hope this finds you well. Take care! Love"

[Yeah, you know you wish you were related to me. I'm awesome. :) ]

2nd Second City Sketch Show

2006-04-08T13:57:00.000-07:00

Yay for alliteration!

So I have a show tomorrow. My second ever sketch show, and I'm wicked excited about it. Starting at 5:30 this Sunday [4/9], it's 6 sketches lasting about half an hour. I'll post tomorrow to let you know how it went, but if you wanna see it for yourself, check it out at the address below.

8156 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90046

I promise it will be funnier than using a banana as a phone [which is pretty damn funny in itself!]. Woo hoo!

-Booter

Sometimes Matter Lines Not

2006-03-11T16:11:00.002-08:00

So I just wrote a great introduction that MS Word decided to delete. Bitter, party of one, your blog is ready. Poo.

Alright, so now I’m compulsively saving. ::save:: First off, this new acting studio has been awesome. I actually feel that when I audition during the summer I can present myself decently. Will I land anything? That depends on what they are looking for. Only thing I can do is go in there with what I got, and this class is helping me showcase that. I still have more to learn, but the prospect of it all is very exciting.

But today… today’s class was about learning that the lines don’t matter. ::save:: More specifically for me, it was about how our bodies are connected to our minds, and how if we think the right thoughts our bodies will react accordingly. ::save:: I guess I should explain how that all happened.

We broke up into pairs and each person had to think of a person they wanted to talk with, and a specific message they wanted to get across. ::save:: We then had to visualize our partner as this person, and engage in a conversation using only the lines from the page of a random script. When we felt we had “said” what we wanted to say, or felt the conversation was over, we simply dropped the page and the exercise was complete. Sound crazy? It was awesome. ::save::

The first time I did it, I wanted to talk with this girl in high school that I could have dated but I messed things up between her and I. The message I wanted to communicate was that I was sorry. So my partner and I start, she walks around the room nervously, then sits down, then kneels down [I am sitting] and begins to cry. Immediately I realize I can’t just get my message across without calming her down first trying to figure out what is wrong. So we say lines back and forth, lines I don’t remember, but somehow we got to a point in which I felt I could “say” I was sorry. So we exchange more lines in which I communicate this message, but I get the feeling that she isn’t getting me. I realize that this just isn’t the right time for this conversation, that while I said what I needed to, it wasn’t received, and so I dropped my paper. Amazingly enough, my partner also dropped her paper at the exact same time.

So what happened? Well, to her, I was her mother, and she was just looking for support and forgiveness. She felt that while I was trying to make her feel better, I just wasn’t getting her. And she stopped. Was this a good thing? Yes! It was amazing. We had such a strong connection that we both understood what we were communicating via body language, facial expression, tone of voice, etc. People watching said they were riveted by our conversation. Despite the fact that the words didn’t make sense, people could feel our connection and emotions and enjoyed watching it. That was cool enough for me, but I still felt like I didn’t “do” enough. I figured my partner, a very talented actress, had probably carried the scene. On the way to lunch, however, two classmates told me unsolicited how cool it was that I let myself open up and showed what I was feeling. I mentioned how I felt that I didn’t do enough, and they said I was wrong, that I showed my emotions really well and that it was really good. Awesomo! ::save::

We all did the exercise again with different partners. This time, however, I chose a friend of mine from high school who used to give me rides into school every morning. He was the one who got me into musical theater, but before we had a chance to do a show together he went into Diabetic shock and died. He was a senior when I was a junior. Anyway, the message that I wanted to give him was a simple, “Thanks for getting me into this.” But when my partner and I started, she started crying. This totally threw me a loop, as I expected to be the crying one. After all, he died and is in heaven now, so why does he get to cry. We say our meaningless lines, but she seems angry at me, almost as if it was my fault as if she died. I just don’t understand; all I wanted to do was say thanks, and I was getting a guilt trip. Eventually I got so fed up with the whole thing that I threw my paper down to end the scene. ::save::

It turns out that she had visualized her father as me, and was trying to get him to apologize for being the biggest asshole in the world. She could sense that I felt sorry for her, but didn’t understand how it was my fault.

So we got comments from the class, and again people noted our emotional connection. Then Natalie explained her side and I started to understand. Then I explained my side and totally broke down in the middle of it. I had listened so well to Natalie as my partner, I had actually begun to think that Kevin really thought it was my fault that he died. ::save::

I knew in my rational mind that it wasn’t my fault; it just didn’t make sense. But I was receptive enough as an actor to go with what my partner was giving me. Again, I felt like I didn’t do enough, but this time the whole class chimed in about how what I did spoke volumes. And truthfully, all I did was think. I committed to what I wanted to say and listening to what my partner had to say, and reacted accordingly. It’s funny. I mean, how many times do we go into a conversation expecting a certain outcome? And how many times is that outcome perfectly achieved? Almost never. We have no control over that. In that sense, it explains so much about acting. We receive a script of lines for multiple characters. My character has something to say and an idea of what is going to happen, but that’s rarely what the script has written. And so we merely have to react to each other according to what we’re “saying” to each other. The lines help us establish relationship and wants and needs, but they really aren’t what we’re saying. We communicate so much with how we say things that the lines don’t even matter. All that matters is what we think, as long as it’s genuine. ::save::

Therein lies the hard part of acting: being genuine. Thinking real thoughts about the people you’re acting with. At the same time, though, it’s not hard, because it’s something we do every hour of every day. ::save::

I’m excited. I’m excited for my next chance to “audition” on camera during class. I’m also excited to start Second City on Monday. I haven’t worked with them since I started this new class, and I’m curious to see what it will bring out in me. Anyway, thanks for reading. Talk with you soon. ::save::

The 5 Hour Class That Went 2 Hours Overtime

2006-03-03T19:27:00.000-08:00

So, wow, Wednesday night was crazy. After teaching/lesson planning all day, I head over to Margie Haber studios for my first class for the foundation level of an on-camera workshop. I drink a Rockstar with dinner and on the drive, get there on time [amazingly!], and then spent an unexpected 7 hours there. Wow.

By the end I was exhausted. And I still had to read again. It didn’t help that someone was complaining about having planned to get up early to run errands, and that she’d have to get stuff done later. Right, early for her meant 10. Four hours after I would already have been up. Two hours after I would have been in front of kids making physics fun. Right.

No worries; this is not a diatribe of the difficulties maintaining a professional life while developing acting ability. Thursday went fine; I’m awesome. J What’s more exciting is that Wednesday went well… relatively speaking.

Ok, so the class basically consists of breaking down a side [short scene used for auditions] into emotions and responses and then reading them with the instructor while being filmed. Everyone in the class does this, and then the whole class watches the film as the instructor makes comments [and everyone in the class silently judges each other]. So I when we were breaking down the side I was totally with the guy and understood each emotion and relationship. Of course I nicely forgot all of that when I read. Naturally my video was horrendous. I can easily say I’m the most behind in the class. Yay for that award. But whatevs, yo, that’s why I’m in the class. I’d rather look like a git in front of these people than in front of casting directors. See, people remember my name, so I’d prefer to have a good performance accompany that name. Right now I don’t have it. But, there is hope for yours truly.

I got a few notes after watching my video. One was not to confuse emotion with acting. Ouch. Wow. Harsh words. Reminded me of when my engineering prof asked me if I was in the wrong major. Couldn’t be truer though, the acting part. There I was, looking upset and frustrated and not actually being upset and frustrated. I was listening to the other character and it showed [yay Second City], but I wasn’t having a conversation with the other character. Eff-bomb. So I resolved to do better the next time. The next time occurred at 12:15; yeah, I was tired. Wicked tired. I just wanted to be finished with it. I get in there and do my thing, change a few aspects and really try to just have a conversation and use the paper correctly. It still felt awkward and crappy to me. I was wrong. The instructor liked it, said I incorporated the notes he gave me very well. He said I still needed to work on establishing more of a relationship, but that I did what he told me.

I kindof didn’t believe him. After all, it felt no less awkward than the first time, and since I was one of the later people to read, I figured he was just being brief and rushing me through. When I watched the video, however, I realized he wasn’t just blowing me off. He was right! Ok, the acting aspect was not that great, but I didn’t look like crap on film. For the first time, I thought I looked pretty decent on TV. Huge improvement from the first read. Awesomo!

So you may have guessed that despite the fact that my head hit the pillow at 1:30 AM and woke up a mere 4.5 hours later, I was still pumped. Baby steps, sir, baby steps.

“I mean, I know we all laugh at Booter, but is he actually funny?”

2006-02-26T23:23:00.000-08:00

Hey there thespian fans! It’s been a long long while since I’ve updated this thing, as, well, um, you know. But I hope to be updating this more often in the future. Actually, that’s one of many things I hope will be changing for me regarding my acting pursuit. Well, maybe not changing. Hmmm… well, put it to you this way. It’s probably better that I haven’t posted in about 2.5 months, cause I’ve gone through some serious soul searching [or mental crises, if you’re a glass half-empty type] in that time and instead of getting the grueling play-by-play you get the happy sportscenter version. Yippee hooray!

Ok, first things first. Some people were saying that they enjoyed keeping up to date with my acting pursuits, but that the blog itself was kindof a downer. Fair statement to make. I was using the blog as more of a way to empty my brain of crappy emotional baggage that was affecting my acting. I was also trying to take this whole thing seriously, and when there’s not a lot going on in reality, that’s when the mind has a field day and creates said emotional baggage. If that makes sense, great. If not, don’t worry about it. I’ve learned that there’s nothing worse to do in acting than “take it seriously.” Then it’s no fun, and fun is what we’re supposed to be having. Boo serious, yay fun, go acting!

Alright, time for the fun stuff. So I made the executive decision to continue in my teaching profession one more year before I enter the long line of starving actors. Why? I need the training. Yeah, I’m behind. While I’ve had a decent amount of stage experience, my craft is not refined. [I’m getting better though. Look, I just said craft instead of acting ability. That’s got to count for something!] So I’m in a big “Focus on Training” phase of my career. This Wednesday I’ll be starting this killer acting workshop that basically converts stage acting to film acting. This little dealie is 10 hours a week and will likely kick my ass. I’m really excited about it. In addition, I will be continuing my training with Second City. I recently passed their audition for the upper levels of the conservatory [woo hoo!] and over the next 16 weeks-ish will be learning how to convert improv into sketch comedy. At the end of it all we will write an hour long sketch show and perform four Friday nights sometime in June. Yeah. Awesomo. Big time excited. The summer, I’ve decided, is Booter’s plunge into the world of commercials. More on that later.

So tomorrow I finish level 3 of Second City, and man has it been crazy. I’ve learned about 60 styles and genres incorporating film directors, film styles, playwrights, and historical time periods. And let me tell you, it was not fun or easy. Actually, about 3 weeks ago I was going to stop with SC after this level. My rationale was that I needed to work more on acting fundamentals [which is true] and SC wasn’t very fun anymore. I think it was a combination of learning so much in so little time and not having the experiences that my fellow classmates had to draw from. Our first show was horrendous, but that was likely due to a self-fulfilling prophecy. We were all nervous and worries, telling few people about the show. And yeah, 6 people in the audience, and we were not on top of our game. But a couple of weeks ago we essentially finished learning new styles and genres and we had a show and, wow, I had fun. I was excited about this show [determined to learn my lesson from the first show] and it showed. Class the next day was great, and then the audition happened a couple days later, which was also fun. I found out a few days ago that I passed, and then today we had a show. This one, like the first one, had only 6 people. But, unlike the first one, we had fun. If we were confused, which we were [I mean, who has ever heard of the playwright Moliere. Yeah, I don’t even want to look up how to spell it. But someone had heard of him, because that was our suggestion from the audience] then we just made strong choices and had fun. Moliere = French. We all donned French accents and I did my best Napoleon impression and we went to town. HiLARious. And fun.

This week is a milestone of sorts. I finish level 3 tomorrow. I start my new acting workshop with Margie Haber Studios on Wednesday for 5 hours, and then on Saturday for 5 more hours. Yeah. Intense. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Ok!

Perfect Strangers

2005-12-23T00:14:00.000-08:00

I just got home from my last of 6 shows in the Christmas play called “Cancel Christmas” in which I busted out some mime skills, and I’m pretty sure no one I knew saw the play. Yep, six shows of Booter looking really funny, but no one saw it. Well, I shouldn’t say that. People saw it. And that makes me happy.

You see, I’m not stressed that none of my friends or family came to see the show. Most of the latter are back east, and most of the former are already at their homes with their families not in LA. It’s a tough time for a show, and it’s a heck of a drive [even with books on tape]. It’s funny, though, because each time I was out on stage, I was sure someone I knew was in the audience. There was either a lot of laughter or great participation or something that made me feel, “Oh, someone out there knows me.” But after each show as I waved to the audience as they left, I saw no one I knew. Which is cool. It means I truly entertained.

Often times after shows the majority of feedback you get is from friends and family, and they are naturally biased. As objective as they try to be, they know you. You crack them up; that’s why they’re your friends. And your family will always give you support [thanks mom]. But show after show, perfect strangers came up to me and congratulated me, saying I was an excellent performer. During the show I made people laugh, people that don’t know me at all. And I didn’t even say a word. Brilliant!

Ok, ok, ok. Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying I’m God’s gift to the acting world and that I should become a professional mime. It was still community theater, and 75% of our audiences were elderly or children. But… there is something to be said for performing successfully for people you don’t know and hearing unsolicited positive feedback from them. I’ll comment more later about the overall effects and lessons from this whole experience, but for now I just wanted to relate how cool it was to showcase some of my talents to perfect strangers and have them be well received. I'm at a loss for words!

Small Toungued

2005-11-28T23:58:00.000-08:00

That was the suggestion written on the tiny slip of paper: small-toungued. Her partner received the suggestion giving him an occupation: anesthesiologist. A lovely scene ensued in which the anesthesiologist was accused of killing a patient. The scene was hilarious. Laugh out loud funny. Myself and the other Second City-ers were laughing so hard we were crying. How is a scene about a potential malpractice lawsuit funny? The actress took the suggestion of small-tounged and made her voice and facial expressions similar to those of a 4 year old trying desperately communicate. As one person said, “You needed to wait until she said a noun before you could figure out what the heck she was trying to say.” Hilarious.

At the end of class, we couldn’t figure out why the scene was funny. It just was. And our instructor told the actress to save that character and use it later, because it is hilarious. And then I had an epiphany.

The level 2 class is centers on character. I mistakenly thought that this meant I would learn how to instantly leap into a new character for each scene, and so concentrated all my efforts on being in character as fast as possible. But today I realized that this level is more about creating as many different characters as possible for us to use in these scenes. We shouldn’t have to completely invent a character from scratch each time we go on stage; that would be absurdly difficult. True, these characters we start out with should develop into something new, but this arsenal of characters that we create gives us a basis from which to work.

It was at this point that the often repeated words of my instructor made sense. Before most scenes he would remind us to go out there and be somebody other than ourselves. Seems like a basic enough concept [a little more challenging in practice], but I realize now that the point was to create new characters and develop them. We know ourselves pretty well, and can use our own person as a basis for a character. But we need to have a larger store of characters if we’re going to be improvising scenes. We need to get a suggestion and allow that suggestion to trigger some sort of character we’ve used before so that we can start the scene. What happens after that? Well that’s where improv takes over, and as they say, the magic happens.

On the car ride home, I realized I came into this level with a basic anxious character and a shy character. Brainstorming along the freeway, I tried to list the characters I’ve since developed: anxious-pleasing, anxious-irritating, arrogant-narcissistic, arrogant-dimwitted, arrogant with an English accent, stoner-excited, stoner-chill… I kept going, and it was cool to see all that had been developed. I found it funny how I hadn’t yet used the nerd character I’d perfected in 2 musicals. I decided I should give that a try next week, as well as experiment with some more somber and crying characters since I hadn’t worked to develop those as much.

I love benchmarking and evaluating my strengths and weaknesses. I finally was able to do that today as I realized what the goal was [which, I’m sure, never could have been actually told to me]. I like seeing what I’ve done and how it has helped, and what there is left to do. Granted, the latter is an immense and infinite laundry list, but I still like knowing the direction I need to go. Of course, in improv the only true direction is forward.

"Yesterday It Had These Blisters, And The Day Before It Was All Blue And Nasty, And Now, Look, There’s Ants Coming Out Of My Foot!"

2005-10-30T21:15:00.000-08:00

We had a Second City show this afternoon, and I cannot at all convey to you how much I love having an audience to perform for. Everything from the pre-show jitters to the final bow and post-show hugs, I love it all. It occurred to me as I tried to pep myself up for the show that I really had no idea what was going to occur on stage. I knew I would be in two scenes, each with two other actors, and that we’d get an occupation from the audience for the first scene and a first line of dialogue for the second scene. That’s it. No idea. Holy crap.

The first group to perform was set in a space ship and centered around the procreation of the human race and sperm donors and people upset with each other and the ship’s eventual crash. Hilarious. Then we go up there and get an occupation: podiatrist. Without hesitation I grab a chair and play the anxious person in the waiting room. Actually, I was planning on being the patient in the examination room, but cues from one of my partners told me we were in the waiting room. We started the scene non-verbally, looking at each other, me staring at my foot and looking at my watch, fidgeting like crazy. And then the scene just went. Having my roommates in the audience subconsciously inspired me to have ants coming out my foot. It was a good scene. We had connecting relationships, defined characters, and fun. People laughed. Awesome.

Second scene I did was funny, but not in the way that we’re going for. We found ourselves playing caricatures instead of characters. We said we were roommates, but we had no real connections. Somehow the scene incorporated homosexuality, the church, and Alex Trebek. Wow. We did our job as entertainers, but we felt dissatisfied as performers.

But, we did a show. We had no idea what was going to happen, and we just went with it. What a great feeling! To get some instant feedback via audience laughter is truly amazing. Sure, we messed up here and there, but that’s why we’re taking classes. I know I could have done things better. I feel I started the caricature-ness of our scene, and should have worked more to develop the relationships. But I also felt had a really good scene, a feeling that was confirmed by audience members. And how cool is that?!

Timid Booter

2005-10-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

I had my Level 2 class of Second City tonight, but since I missed my usual Monday class I was meeting a new group of improvers who attend class Thursday nights. I met those people [I knew one person already] and they were very nice and seemed quite talented. Sadly, they did not meet me. No, instead they met Timid Booter.

People usually don’t recall meeting Timid Booter; there’s a reason for that. Timid Booter isn’t the most exciting person to be around. He’s far less capricious than standard happy-go-lucky Booter. Even his sarcasm is lame and refers largely to how uncomfortable he feels. Timid Booter is more of a blip on the radar screen than an actual person. Which would explain why, when he asked his new one-time instructor for any feedback, the instructor said he had none. Likely as a result of witnessing my look of horror, he added that while I seemed to take in what people were saying well, I needed to be far more assertive on stage. This is, of course, what I had felt all evening, but I didn’t realize why until I pondered on the ride home.

The day before, I auditioned for 3 solos for a church choir I recently joined. These are people I barely know, and I sang in front of them for a chance to have a solo. Sure, I was nervous. But I also had confidence in my abilities and knew I just had to give it my all and see what people thought. In the middle of the 3^rd one, I knew I made a mistake and asked if I could start over. I did, and sang well, and after it all I was pumped at my ability to just get up there and sing and the courage to ask to start over to demonstrate my potential with the music. Surely, that was not Timid Booter.

So what happened?

I had a bad day. I psyched myself out, and blew it. Truthfully, I had a couple of good scenes. But each time, good and bad, I was the character who felt out of place. In some sense it was good that I was channeling my feelings into my improv, but it got away from me. And toward the end of class I was trying so hard to get into the scene that I couldn’t figure out how I related to the other characters. I was so consumed with my problems in creating my own character that I couldn’t participate in the relationships with the other actors on stage.

I’m not so crazy as to think I have regressed in my acting ability or anything dramatic like that. I messed up and wasn’t there mentally. But that isn’t the norm. It shouldn’t be the norm. Timid Booter is not me. It’s just like with singing. I made an acting mistake, and tomorrow I’ll start over.

A Mime is a Terrible Thing to Waste

2005-10-03T23:50:00.000-07:00

So yeah, I’m a mime. I am a clown-mime [which I can only assume means I’ll be in mime makeup] in a Christmas play with elves and trolls…

Booter enters stage left and crosses to center. The lights come up and the orchestra plays happy music. He begins to mime and gets frustrated.
“I'm in a box. I'm barely obscured by the box. It's more like I'm beside the box... I'm in the freaking box! I'll kill you! I'll kill all your dogs!”

Well, not quite like that, though it was a good shout-out to Strongbad by Crowley. But there are the classic elements of fake-conducting the orchestra and not being able to open the curtain [until the Narrator not-so-surreptitiously hands me a crank]. Right.

Actually, I’m excited about the role. I have a ton of creative freedom. I also have no lines and must communicate by being very physical. My character movement has never been a major strength, and this is a chance to continue developing that skill.

Of course, the cast comprises mostly kids. Yeah, like I really need more time with kids. But I am introducing myself to an entirely network of people. There is something to be said about that. Truthfully, my goal in this whole thing is to get a shout-out in the review of the show. Whether that happens is irrelevant, but it will keep me at the top of my game and make sure I consistently present my best self.

In the meantime, I take comfort in the fact that I was cast correctly. The elf is a leading role, and I’m definitely a character actor. The elf wasn't a good fit for me. The troll would have been cool, but the script and director want a tall intimidating guy. That also is not me. The energetic mime, however, fits me pretty well. I mean, aside from the fact he doesn’t speak. That’s, well, I mean, yeah, I talk a lot. You may have noticed. :)

Well I'll Be...

2005-10-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

I got a call yesterday from the director of that Christmas play I auditioned for. I mean, the play for which I auditioned. Wait, that just sounds dumb. The friggin elf play. Yeah, that one. The lousy audition I recently came to terms with. Ahh… stupid prepositions!!! Anyway, turns out they want me in the show.

What?!

So apparently my audition was not as bad as I thought. Or maybe it was as good as I thought. That all depends on which thought we’re referencing. No, I’m not playing an elf. And it appears that they want an older evil troll [naturally]. But they liked my fire-building skills; apparently I was the only one who thought to be active when I was not part of the conversation. Props to me [and Second City]. The title of the part offered to me: Clown Mime.

I stifled a laugh and asked wtf that meant. Essentially I would start the play, get the crowd revved up, and mingle my way through the entire play. I think. There’s supposedly lots of physicality and much room for improvisation. I was still hesitant; I mean, the part is called Clown Mime for goodness sake!

The director sensed my apprehension as I mentioned the commute to Huntington Beach. She took the opportunity to alert me to the fact that if I did this show I would be put on the casting list for the playhouse, making me an attractive prospect for future shows. She also said she really liked my audition and really wanted me in the show. I decided to respond to her butter with my time commitments, and see where that went. Given teaching, Second City, a choir, and traveling for 7/8 weekends in Oct-Nov, I’m not the most available. I can do few things with this hectic fall schedule, so if she doesn’t mind, then this may be a good idea. She didn’t mind; I agreed to play the part.

My schedule just became borderline absurd. My car is gonna get some extra miles on it and festive traffic conditions. I’ll be going home later than I liked for Christmas. And my part is called the Clown Mime. But…

I’m actually in a show. I auditioned and was cast in a show in the LA area. It’s community theater for sure, but it’s the first bit of acting that isn’t my friends and I getting together. That gives it more of a semi-professional feel to it, at least for me. It’s something actually recognizable on my resume [well, the playhouse is]. And it will give me a chance to explore creative movement and hone my character behaviour skills. There’s a maximum of 20 rehearsals ahead of me with 3 performance days. Comparatively, that’s a pretty minor time commitment. The benefits, however, have much potential.

It seems I have found a ladder; we'll see how this rung turns out.

Effing Elf

2005-09-26T23:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I came to the conclusion that yesterday I just sucked big time. I'm a logical guy, and it just makes the most sense. I hocked up another audition. As I reflected more, I realized that I have had only one truly successful audition in which I showed my potential and received the role I was looking for: my Second City audition. Granted, I was auditioning for a school, but I knew what I had to do and did it. Why? Because I had prepared for it, because I knew how to prepare for it, because someone had helped me prepare for it.

And then it hit me.

The Second City audition is the only one I ever competently prepared for. And it was good. Duh. Makes sense. So what I need to do is go talk to that acting coach that was recommended to me. Yeah, she specializes in cold readings. So essentially, I can audition and get feedback. I can learn how to audition. Funny how in 8+ years of acting I've never gotten a hang of the audition process. Looks like now is a great time to start. With any luck I'll be able to leave auditions with the sure and accurate notion that I hocked it up. Only then can I get better.

That Whole Audition Thing

2005-09-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

So I just auditioned for a part called Gribby the Elf. “He’s Santa’s main man,” described the director, “and a well written part.” Yeah, an elf. I auditioned for a Christmas play. Why? Because I hadn’t begun this whole auditioning process yet, and figured, “What the hey?! Could be a good experience.” It certainly was.

The theater is roughly 45 minutes from where I live. Without traffic. So, as I meandered down the 405 for 26 miles I realized that regardless of if I was actually cast, it was unlikely I could continually make this commute over the next 3 months. Whatever, it would still be good to do. I show up and I’m the 4^th person there; I audition after 2 five year old twins and the 60 year old grandmother of the twins. Beforehand I was looking over the 3 lines good old Gribby had to say to Santa and Mrs. Santa [I always thought it was Mrs. Claus], and the concierge-lady, for lack of a better term, suggested I read for Bogby, or something—the evil troll who tries to cancel Christmas. I laugh in spite of myself.

Ok, so I go in and after commenting on the Booter Happy Dance on my resume, they say let’s get started with Gribby. So I start, mime putting wood on a fire, and say my line. The director, from her table, reads Santa’s and Mrs. Santa’s lines, and then I complain about troubles that happened last Christmas. Then there’s a page of dialogue between Santa and Mrs. Claus that has nothing to do with me. So it’s the director speaking lines, and me looking at empty space trying to find a way into a conversation I [Gribby] don’t seem care about. So I load more fake wood onto the fake fire and come in eventually to jinx the whole play and say nothing could ever stop Christmas from coming.

The director says, “Very nice. Good work.” Fully aware that all I did was say three lines and pretend to load firewood, I still appreciate the words. I mention that the concierge-lady gave me the troll part, and then proceed to reveal how I plan to drug Santa, and then do so. That was fun; mine is an evil laugh. Had about 10 lines and ended with a doped up Santa. Director people say cool and thanks for coming, and hand me my audition card to give to the concierge-lady. All in all, I was pretty pleased. I think I did well given the circumstances, and had a blast. And I was finished and could head on home.

I hand my stuff to the concierge lady, who asks if I was coming for callbacks and asks what they told me. I said they told me to turn my stuff in to her. She says, “Oh ok. Well, we have your contact info, right?” After pointing it all out to her, I head on back. As I drive away, I remember the director also mentioned that Gribby would be singing a song and was planning on hearing me. Of course, she saw I was a singer and commented on it, but wouldn’t she want to have hear me. Things then start to become awfully confusing as I wonder if I’d make a show that I had suddenly become interested in.

I initially felt I did decently, given what I had to work with, but who knows? Did they say “nice work” because they meant it, or is that something they just say? Was I not told anything because I was the first to audition for the part, or did they write me off from the start? Did I bring too little or too much emotion? Was I too physical, or not physical enough? Had I given a good reading, or a bad one?

I decided I would drive myself crazy if I speculated long on this event; to sit there and reflect on what may have gone right and may have gone wrong would get me nowhere. All I wanted was feedback, and I forgot that that element is absent in the audition process. So I don’t know if I failed or not. Even if I’m not cast, I don’t think I can know if it was a direct result of my acting abilities. The director may simply have noticed that that I’m over 30 miles away and have a less than flexible schedule, and let that dictate my casting. Or she just didn’t like what I brought to the part. What’s to say that someone else wouldn’t have liked it?

So here’s where I’m at. I felt good about what I did. Strike that, I feel good about what I did. Whether it was actually good or not, well, that’s something I need to work on: developing cold reading instincts that can tell me when I present myself well or poorly. In the meantime, I’m just gonna keep doing my thing.

Linking Acting with Global Domination

2005-08-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

Dare to fail. That’s what it said on my first-ever handout from Second City. So I said, “Done,” and left.

Just kidding.

I stayed. And three classes into Level 1, I understand what it means. I would phrase it more like, “No risk; no reward.” And now you understand the title. Sweet.

Today I sold an Everlasting Lead pencil as Kermit the Frog. I also turned into a zombie, played pool, smoked a cigarette like a person who’s never smoked a cigarette before, mail-ordered a bride, and auditioned as John Wilkes Booth for a part in a play that would assassinate Lincoln. Last week I cleaned toilets at Target, complained that my dad never took me to a sex shop, reported a dog show and hit on the owner of the dog, and beat up two midgets for a yellow biking jersey.

What?!

In improv, you can be anyone. All you have to do is choose who to be. And choose the hell out of it. Commit. Because even if it doesn’t work, well, then you know that doesn’t work. In the meantime, that’s another character you’ve added to your arsenal of, umm, characters. But you wouldn’t have been able to learn, been able to grow, been able to develop anything new without risking looking like a moron!

Thankfully, I’ve become ok with people thinking I’m a moron. I sleep better. It means I can try anything on stage and learn from it. It’s awesome. The greatest thing about trying something new is doing it a second time. That second time feels amazing! And the third time is even better. And the fourth time you probably screw up and do something dumb. Great! That’s how we learn.

Daring to fail seems to be the only way to survive in this business. When I get my paperwork together, I’m going to go to some auditions and suck. Yeah, I’ll be awful. Hands-down moron, at your service. But you gotta learn by doing. No risk; no reward. It’s that simple.

I’m pumped to screw up and tell you all about it. It will be great! I hope you’re as excited as I am.

New Choice

2005-08-15T23:32:00.000-07:00

New Choice is an acting game in which someone outside the scene calls out, “New choice,” and the actor who said the last line has to replace the line with something else. Sometimes a person will call, “New choice,” multiple times regarding the same line, causing the actor to continually redirect the scene with a new line. It is a game that helps an improvisational actor think outside the box, and is also a device used by playwright David Ives in “Sure Thing.”

New Choice: It is the structure I have chosen to reflect on my first three Second City classes and acting career thus far.

New Choice: It is an excellent metaphor for where I am in my life right now.

My first Level 1 class was three weeks ago, and I approached it with apprehension. I was out of practice.

New Choice: I was hung over.

New Choice: I was intimidated by my fellow actors. Again.

There were only four others from my group that had been accepted into this class; the rest of this new class had completed one or two levels of pre-training . Having a culminating performance the day before, they were on top of their game. I was not. And I felt it glaringly obvious. Halfway through the class, I wanted to go home. I was awful.

New Choice: I was rusty.

I was having trouble making connections with people on stage. But here’s the thing: so was everyone else. In those three hours I saw people succeed and fail. I too felt success and failure. I failed early on, but good old sinusoidal confidence came back and reminded me that I actually knew what I was doing.

New Choice: I remembered that I was an actor.

New Choice: I realized I have to stop this confidence crisis crap.

That’s why I didn’t write. Despite my lovely alliteration, I knew no one would want to read more about that. I certainly wouldn’t. It would be boring.

New Choice: It would show I hadn’t progressed as an actor.

Pride and Prejudice, sans Jane Austin

2005-07-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

I talked with an old college roommate last week, and he said that while he enjoyed my blog, he hated hearing my voice in his head speak the words as he was reading them. He said that I generally don’t speak in this style that I am writing in, and it really pisses him off. Naturally, that only encouraged me to continue writing.

For those of you playing the home game, I was accepted into the Second City Conservatory. [The e-mailing actress referred to in the previous entry was also accepted.] So yeah, rock on! Woo hoo! Boo ya!

A few days after I found out I had gotten in, I was chatting with another actress who had also qualified for the conservatory. At one point she asked if I was proud of it. I was taken aback at first. After thinking a moment, I responded that I wasn't proud, but rather, I was extremely excited. I was recognized as being worth the conservatory’s time and resources to cultivate into an improvisational performer, and I was totally pumped about the experiences and training I was about to encounter. I still am very stoked about the program; I start August 1. But what lingered in the back of my mind is why I was so startled at the notion of being proud of my acceptance.

Further reflection reminded me that I had felt the emotion of pride when I learned I felt stronger in my audition than some of the other actors. Perhaps pride, or being proud of oneself, has less to do with the self and more to do with the surrounding people. To be proud is to measure oneself as superior to another. It involves the process of estimating one’s own worth in comparison to others’ worth. It is contrary to self-esteem, which should be more of an internal conception of self worth. Along these lines, having good self-esteem means being confident.

Ok, great. So we’ve defined pride and confidence, and showed how they can be different. Yippy skippy. But this isn’t a psychology paper. So what’s the point?!

Good question. My guess is that while I pursue this ideal of everlasting confidence, I must make sure to keep pride out of it. Being proud will drive a wedge between myself and other members of this intricate industry, and in a business so dependent on making connections with other people, this would be suicide. Being proud can also turn people into egocentric bastards, and that’s just not a cool way to live.

All things considered, I guess I’m glad I was disconcerted by the question, “Are you proud?” My reaction seems to indicate that I don’t want to be tainted with pride; I instead want to be purely confident in what I can do and eager to learn from the talented actors I will no doubt meet through my experiences in Second City. The question turned into a subtle reminder that the road ahead is hard and that I’m only at the beginning of my journey. Still, it’s been fun, and it helps to know that at least I’m better than my old roommate, but only because he’s such a wanker. That, my friends, is something to be legitimately proud of.

Sinusoidal Confidence

2005-07-03T15:20:00.000-07:00

Confidence is a funny thing. Women often find it extremely attractive in men. Perhaps that’s why they fall for the bad guy or the asshole. These types of men have complete confidence in their ability to piss other people off. But regular nice guys often question themselves, and in an attempt to not be the asshole, they make themselves out to be weaker. Their inner voice or conscientious nature reduces their faith in themselves and contributes to a less confident, and ultimately less attractive, personality.

The same is true for actors. My Second City audition involved a group of 11 people that were called in pairst only once to improvise a scene. One shot with one random partner. There it is. Good luck.

My audition was fine. In fact, I was very satisfied with how it went. If I’m selected for the conservatory… awesome. If not, I know I demonstrated my current level of abilities. More unsettling, however, was a series of e-mails in the days after the audition.

One came from a fairly talented actress apologizing to her partner for not making a strong enough connection on stage, and to the rest of the group for not performing as well as she should have.

A myriad of emotions hit me as I perused this e-mail, and three distinct feelings stuck out. First was empathy, for I too have felt embarrassed by some of my performances in front of that talented group pf people. At times I really wanted to proclaim, “I can do better than this! Please believe me! Don’t judge me on that one scene!”

Another emotion prevalent was disbelief. The reason this actress was a bit frazzled was because she had been acting for a movie shoot until 6 AM. How can someone with an established acting career apologize to me for her performance?!

The third emotion, though I hate to admit it, was pride. I felt my audition went well, and the fact that it seemed that some others felt like they struggles while I felt I had performed well only strengthened my faith in my abilities. This is especially true considering the level of talent I auditioned with.

At the core of these emotions and the catalyst of the e-mail I received is one word: confidence. It is such a fickle commodity in life, especially in the acting profession. One word from a director, instructor, or fellow colleague can elevate one to new heights or sink one’s psyche to its lowest point. The inner voice of the actor is always working to help him improve, yet too many conversations with said voice can have less than desirable effects. It can cause an established actress to question her abilities to the point of apologizing for her work. It can also cause a decent actor to expand his ego to the point that it cannot coexist with other people in a room.

I have interacted with actors personifying both extrema. I tend to find myself on the more deprecating side of the continuum. [I also happen to consider myself a nice guy.] But I have noticed that I perform better when I have confidence in my abilities. However, it is important to recognize that confidence is a very fluid substance. As an actor I must learn to endure the high and low tides of confidence while maintaining some sort of faith in my abilities. Otherwise, I will never succeed.

My First Audition in LA

2005-06-23T23:25:00.000-07:00

Throughout my student acting career there has been a noticeable trend; I suck at auditions. Rather, I have sucked at auditions. In the past I have psyched myself out, not prepared enough, and not exercised the proper decorum for the audition. I have been cast in shows, but never a lead. I have landed the ensemble role nicely, but I have consistently demonstrated less than I was capable of. In addition, I ended sentences in prepositions. How sad.

Tomorrow I audition for the Second City Conservatory program. For me, this is a big deal. If I pass this audition, I am eligible for the first 3 levels of improvisational acting classes at Second City. I would have to audition again for levels 4 and 5. As of now, I don’t intend to become a professional comedic improviser. In fact, what I want to do is be a high school kid on a TV show. So why is this a big deal for me?

This is the beginning. A week ago I was blessed enough to be a part of the immersion program at Second City. Lasting from Monday to Friday, I worked 5 hours a day with 17 other people, culminating in a performance on Friday night. After the first day, I didn’t want to go back. But I knew I had to. I knew the criticism was good and that I was out of practice. On the other hand, I knew that despite being one of the youngest, I deserved to be there. I haven’t looked back since. I audition tomorrow as a much better actor than I was when first took that class. This is the beginning.

Regardless of how I perform at tomorrow’s audition, I will know that I have committed to being an actor. Headshot and resume in hand, I’ll go up there and do a made-up scene with someone and say, “Hey, look at me. Give me a shot.” I hope they see potential. If not, then oh well, because man, I’ve learned a lot. I need to learn more, and will continue to seek out more learning experiences. But I have an agent, temporary as she may be . And I have headshots. I have people who support me, who come see my show or call me 4 times to see how it went. And I have me.

Auditions. They’ve kept me back for a while now. But I’ve learned since then. Give in to the power of the scene. Let the actors with you guide you. And for the love of everything sacred in LA, have fun! Holy crap, that’s why I’m here in the first place. So here I go. Tomorrow I audition to see if I’m eligible to continue study with Second City. I really want to make it, but if I don’t, no worries; there’s still more to do. This is the beginning.